Sleep *yawn*

I have always loved sleep.  As long as I can remember.  So much so that even in my Bethany days I can remember being upset when those crazies were making a hubub in the hallways after ten pm.  Even in those days the times were few and far between when I would stay up until (gasp) midnight or so.  I just prefer my Zzz's, okay?
So when we decided to have a baby, I knew I would be in for a rude awakening.  And, yes, I was aware of this even before people started saying "get all the sleep you can now, because you won't get any after the baby".  Helpful people, helpful.  What I didn't know however, was how profoundly sleep would impact my life.
You see, at this point in the game, the last time I can remember getting more than two hours of sleep in a row was at least four months ago.  And I'm tired.  I'm tired and I'm uncomfortable because I've made the long journey from getting up and ssshing Gavin to rocking him and shoving a soother in and finally giving in and letting him into our bed in an effort for just a little more shut-eye.  Now, don't get me wrong - I really have no opinions or prejudices about any ways of parents sleep.  You let your kid cry it out?  You co-sleep?  Great.  Fine by me.  I wish any of these solutions would get my little boy to have a good night's rest.  Then maybe I could function.   But, unfortunately, I've just found that co-sleeping is not for me and that after hours of hearing Gavin cry (no, not leaving him totally alone for hours) I can't take it anymore.
Yesterday I made a grocery list.  At the top of the list: headaches.  I wrote "headaches" at the top of my grocery list and I have no idea what that means.  Today in an effort to live healthy, I fixed myself a delicious looking green smoothie, but I have no idea what it tasted like because it wound up here.

And also inside the mechanism of the blender because I forgot to tighten the blade in and then proceeded to knock my glass and the blender over on the counter.  Add this to the complete lack of decisiveness, crying over nothing and everyday clumsiness I have and I'm pretty sure I can find the culprit.  No sleep.
I miss my old self.  The one that only cried about once a month (mysteriously about every 28 days) and was fairly easy going and happy go lucky.  Where is that girl?  I think she's in my dreams somewhere.
So I'm about thisclose to hiring a sleep consultant to finally teach Gavin how to sleep without a soother or his momma close by.
Someday I'm sure I will look back and these last few (and next few) months will all seem like a blur.  And I know I will miss rocking my little baby and all his babyness.   But for now, I'll be dreaming day dreaming of sleep.

Community

I've been thinking a lot lately about the community surrounding me.  And how integral community has become in my life.  You see, I knew that having a baby would change my life completely and I knew that it would be difficult.  I just never foresaw the degree to which both of these statements would be true.  Having Gavin join our lives has been wonderful.  But so damn hard that we never could have done it without the community around us.  From the beginning with people bringing us meals and all along the way with people checking in to make sure that we are okay the community we are a part of upholds us.
A few weeks ago one of the girls at church talked about the culture of casseroles.  How blessed I am to be a part of this culture where caring for one another is the norm, not the exception.  The first four months with Gavin have been so, so hard.  From feeding issues to sleep issues to mommy issues I have wanted to pack up and leave so many times it's not even funny.  And I know that I'm not the first person to ever have a baby.  This is just the first time it's my own reality.  And I am SO grateful for the many friends and family that have walked beside me and just been there.  Awaken church, you are so incredibly vital to who we have become as a family.
As I write I am watching Gavin explore his way around an activity centre, squealing with each turn of the plastic pieces.  And I think about how I hope I remember how this feels in the not so distant future and am able myself to walk alongside others in my community with their own needs and be to them what they have been to me.

Gavin flying and listening to songs with Grandpa Bushman on a recent Saskatoon trip!

Three.

Three.   Number of months Gavin will be tomorrow.
             Number of years old Atticus is today.
             Number of legs Atticus is currently using.
As you all know, I adore spending time in the kitchen both creating and eating.   To maintain balance between the creating and the eating I occasionally bake up a treat for my four three legged friend.  So for his birthday I made his favorite: Peanut Butter Carrot Cupcakes with PB and Yogurt Frosting.  What can I say?  I couldn't resist.  And maybe that's because after a playful romp in the icy snow yesterday he came back limping.  And then last night he started hobbling around on three paws.  And now he's laying there all pathetic doped up on doggy advil.  Don't know what the little klutz actually did, but all I know is it's worth a PB&Carrot Cupcake to celebrate the fact that all I had to pay for at the vet was doggy advil and not x-rays and surgeries!

Hard to believe that Gavin came into this world three months ago already.  I really do grow fonder of him all the time.  So fun to watch him learn, grow and change.  Also fun that he sleeps a little longer and cries a little softer than even one month ago :)  Happy 1/4 year Gav!

Up and Running

So, I guess you could say I've been absent.  Like, for over a year.  I didn't post in 2012.  Why?  Just because I didn't.  What's new, you ask?  Well, we were two + dog and we're now three + dog.  Gavin is our newest addition and we welcomed him in late October.  In quick summary, the first six weeks with him were a tumultuous whirlwind of sleeplessness, crying (on his part and mine) and learning.  Nowadays we seem to be settling into this new phase of life.  Curiosity, smiles and a bit more sleep are what's going on at the Mills household these days.  

But Gavin wasn't the only thing that happened to us in 2012.  We had many different adventures including a trip to Mexico with our good friends Eric and Janess and a trip to San Francisco with dear friends Luke and Myriam.  Here are some photos of our good times from a photo book I made for Gord.  For those of you who haven't attempted it, photo books are really great ways to have a tangible way to keep all those photos just sitting on your computers.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Look for more updates to come!

Happy Halloween!

*Halloween featuring "carrots of doom" from this year's garden*

From our house to yours. Because this is the first year we've had a house and been around to give out candy so I was more than a little excited.

Gord carved a mean pumpkin.

We had popcorn and candy and chips and chocolate and playdough galore to hand out to the kiddies.

Hope you enjoyed your Halloween as much as we enjoyed ours!

Hey Daddy-O

Last weekend Gord and I and our friend Kim were involved in a 50's style soiree. You see, our friends Janet and Pete got married and decided to throw a little 50's shindig so we cats could all get down.

Here is the hep couple.

Gord and I getting ready to go: (Gord's really just goofing)

The party was held at the Aerospace museum which made for lots of interesting photo ops.

The bride, me and my friend Kim. Girls, your style really fractures me.

Some of you might be wondering if we already had these delightful ensembles in our closets. The answer is no. I ordered my dress off of Ebay for $30 and then altered it. I made my own crinoline (about 8 hours later - which almost made me blow my top) with a total savings of approximately $5 from retail costs which, trust me, wasn't worth it. The shawl and hand crocheted gloves were my Grandmother's. The accessories got put in the mix from my gracious Aunt Wendy and the shoes I had lurking in my closet from my high school theatre days. For Gord we mostly hunted at thrift stores. I must admit that he did have a choice of six different skinny ties all thanks to my Dad and my parents' inability to throw anything away. (It's okay Dad, I'm booted to how you rocked the skinny ties). The lid we had to buy brand new so you better believe Gord will be getting much use out of that in the years to come.

All in all, we had 18 karat fun until we had to cut which was a real drag - you dig?

18 karat - All the way, full out

blow your top - a phrase which expresses enthusiasm or exasperation

cats - folks who play jazz music

cut - To leave or depart

dig - to know or understand completely

drag - a person or thing which depresses

fracture - to move or inspire someone

get down - to play or dance superlatively, with abandon

goofing - failing to carry out a responsibility or wandering in attention

hep - someone who knows or understands

I'm booted - I'm hip or I understand

lid - hat

put in the mix - put it together, make it happen

glimpses of a Bowness summer day

I love my life here. I love that on any given day we have people stopping by to chat - to shoot the breeze or to ask about the bike shop.

People ask about our garden and they have bike/unicycle races with Gord.

Sometimes Atticus gets in on the race as well.

People ask if we're going away for a vacation this summer. I tell them "Vacation? Why would I want to leave this. This is the life". I love my little house and I love the view from my front window.

I'm so thankful for Canada Day long weekends!

Just heard from the races: Gord vs 6 yr old

Gord: Hey! I won!

6 y.o.: Yeah, but you got a head start

Gord: Yeah . . . but I still won

(this after Gord lost about 15 races in a row - a unicycle has only one slow speed you know)

LifeCycle

This post is bit of an ode to Gord. Which is fitting seeing as how it is our 7th anniversary this weekend.

When we were in the market for a home and stumbled upon this one, Gord was very excited because of this.

It wasn't too long before Gord put this on the roof.

And we painted these signs.

All so people would come to this.

To experience this.

Community. At it's roots. LifeCycle community bike shop is a place where people can come and use our tools and get free advice for how to fix and maintain their bikes. Which, in the community we're a part of, can be a pretty huge deal. You see Gord loves cycling. And he loves seeing other people cycle. So when he saw the potential in the oversized garage on our property, he ran with it. And with the help of some wonderful friends and the brothers and sisters at our church, Awaken, LifeCycle became a reality. So not only is LifeCycle meeting a practical need in our community (we hope) we are also slowly becoming a touchstone for individual members of the community. A place to be heard and accepted and loved. And maybe clean your chain while you're at it ;)

Tracks in the Snow

Hers and His snowshoes

crazy florescent lichen

We got a great deal to go to Banff for 2 nights and to go snowshoeing last weekend. I had only ever been snowshoeing with the crazy old time snowshoes and let me tell you - these new snowshoes are SOOOOOO much easier to use. We hiked out to the paint pots in BC which are these ochre tainted pools, which the natives used to dye things red. Very cool. The snow was over a metre thick where we were, but the temperature was 5 C. Pure bliss. Once we got to our destination there was hot chocolate, crazy carpeting . . .

and maple taffy.

Can you tell how much I love maple taffy?

Couldn't be happier . . .

Dinner, Dessert and the Fonz

I thought this recipe sounded a little weird combining pasta with potatoes, but it was actually quite good. Although, it's always better when you don't have to cook, and I didn't. Gord did. I love those nights. They are few and

far between, but the odd time I can convince Gord he's capable of following a recipe. And he always does a marvelous job.

I made these cupcakes as a trial. A friend is having a birthday and I'd love to make her cupcakes, but she's on a gluten free diet. So I bought a gluten free cake-mix and these Chocolate Cupcakes with Raspberry Cream Cheese Frosting were born. I thought they were not bad for gluten free. I loved the cake mix because I wasn't daring enough to try adding xanthan gum and the like on my own. Especially since no one in our household is gluten free.
A few weeks ago I went to an ultrasound conference in Milwaukee with a co-worker. We had a great time and managed to make some new friends who agreed to show us around. This pic is of me, my impromptu tour guide and a beloved statue of the Fonz. What more could you want from Milwaukee?

Happy 60th Mom!

This year my Mom celebrated her 60th birthday, so we made the trek out to Saskatoon for a lovely party. I am so grateful to have my Mom reach this mark after all that she's been through - especially last summer. We all went to her favorite restaurant - the Blue Diamond - which is named the Blue Diamond due to the unfortunate shape and color of the restaurant. Three cheers to Saskatoon and it's crazy buildings! A wonderful time was had by all.

My sister-in-law made this beautiful sugar free cake for Mom!

And we had the opportunity to visit with our dear friends Myr and Luke! *Why do I always forget my camera?* I managed to get bitten by the thrift store bug with Myr and came home with a beautiful vintage flour sifter. You never know when you'll need to sift flour nowadays. And Gord and Luke managed to scale the equivalent of several mountains in their wall climbing expeditions.

My Dad, who is not a game player, decided we should play crokinole. And play we did. I think all of our middle fingers were red the next day. But what a fun time! My family hasn't laughed together that much in a long time. What a wonderful birthday weekend. Thanks Mom!

YES, I still cook

I've just been busy, okay? And if you had internet as slow as I do, you'd put off uploading pictures as well. Here's what I've been up to:

Whipped Sweet Potatoes with Maple Pecan Topping

which tastes as good as it sounds and better than it looks!

Spaghetti Squash with Roasted Tomatoes

This was fabulous and felt very filling for a veggie meal.

In other interesting news, today is the last day for Gord as a plumber! He is more than ecstatic and the fact that today was -30 plus windchill puts him over the moon to quit his job. From now on he will be partnering with his Dad doing contracting work which will include the plumbing work as well. He's very happy to diversify. Gord worked with his Dad for a few months two years ago and enjoyed his time, so we know this new work situation will be great. Congrats Gord - you can flush plumbing in -30 goodbye!

Pizza Primavera Precedes Parsley Pesto Pasta

Yum! I made this veggie pizza after I looked in my fridge and saw some leftovers that needed to be used up. There's zucchini, peppers, tomatoes and the base was some leftover cream cheese and pesto from the pasta recipe! It turned out fabulous (except for the one I forgot about and burnt to a crisp). * This is not from my new veggie cook book and the detectives in you will sleuth out a bit of elk sausage residing on this pizza.*

This is "Artichoke Pesto Linguini" from the new cookbook. It was quite nice and light. Basically, you just make a pesto in the old magic bullet using parsley and artichokes from the jar. Add some water to thin it out and you're done. It was alright if you like artichokes, which I don't mind, but I love pesto for the basil and this didn't have any. Might make it again in summer, as it was a light meal.

In other food news, we've got the dog on a new diet as well, although not vegetarian. He keeps getting ear infections so the vet said that can be related to a food allergy. So now he's on some fancy pants food and we're hoping he doesn't "nickel and dime us to death" as Gord said. Ha! He is a funny one. If you have any suggestions on this one, they would be much appreciated.

More news to come shortly. And no, I'm not pregnant, so don't ask.